How to be Content Alone
How to be Content Alone
The Beginner’s Guide to Being Content When You’re By Yourself
Some people are inherently content when they are alone. Others, on the other hand, find being alone difficult. Even if you’re a committed extrovert, there are techniques to grow more comfortable with being alone if you fall into the latter category.
Building a healthy relationship with yourself is a worthwhile investment, regardless of how you feel about being alone. After all, you do spend a lot of time alone, so you might as well make the most of it.
It’s not the same as being lonely to be alone
It’s crucial to distinguish between the two concepts of being alone and being lonely before diving into the various strategies to achieve happiness when you’re alone. While there is some overlap, they are two very different concepts.
Perhaps you’re someone who thrives alone. You’re not antisocial, lonely, or without love. You’re quite pleased with your alone time. In fact, you eagerly anticipate it. That’s not being lonely; it’s simply being alone.
On the other hand, perhaps you’re surrounded by relatives and friends with whom you don’t really connect beyond a superficial level, leaving you feeling empty and disconnected. Perhaps being alone makes you melancholy and yearns for company. That is the feeling of being alone.
Before we get into the specifics of how to be happy alone, it’s crucial to note that being alone doesn’t have to imply loneliness. You can be alone and lonely at the same time, but the two don’t always have to go together.
Short-term suggestions to help you get started
These suggestions can assist you in getting started. They won’t make your life better overnight, but they can help you become more at ease with being alone.
Some of these might be just what you’ve been looking for. Others may be incomprehensible to you. They can be used as stepping stones. To suit your own lifestyle and personality, added to and shape them along the road.
1. Stop comparing yourself to others
Avoid comparing your social life to anyone else’s. This is easier said than done. It’s not about how many friends you have or how often you go out socially that matters. It’s all about what works best for you.
Remember, there’s no way of knowing if someone with a large group of friends and a full social calendar is truly content.
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They’re high in nutrients like magnesium, B6, vitamin C, vitamin E, and folate, which are commonly low in many people’s diets.
Half an avocado, for example, has 10% of the daily need for potassium.
2. Remove yourself from social media
While social media isn’t necessarily terrible or troublesome, take a step back if browsing through your accounts makes you feel alone and worried. That feed only tells part of the tale. By a long shot, no.
You have no way of knowing if those people are actually happy or just pretending to be. In any case, it has nothing to do with you. So, take a big breath and consider the situation.
Make a trial run by removing yourself from social media for 48 hours. If it doesn’t work, try setting a daily limit of 10 to 15 minutes and sticking to it.
3. Take a break from your phone
Is there a pattern here? The perception of being alone has surely evolved as a result of smartphones and social media.
Is anyone truly alone these days when they can pick up their phone and text or call almost anyone? Or find out what your high school acquaintance is up to without having to speak with them?
That isn’t to argue that technology isn’t a fantastic tool for fostering community and keeping in touch with loved ones who live far away. However, it’s all too easy to rely on technology to keep you from being alone with your thoughts.
Turn your phone off and put it away for an hour the next time you’re alone. Take advantage of this opportunity to reconnect with yourself and discover what it’s like to be truly alone.
Don’t know what to do with your time? Grab a pen and a piece of paper, and make a list of things you could like doing the next time you’re alone.
4. Make time for your mind to wander
Does the idea of doing nothing make you feel uneasy? That’s probably because you haven’t allowed yourself to just be for a long time.
Set a timer for 10 minutes and see what happens. That is all there is to it.
Ten minutes without:
- Television
- Music
- Internet
- Podcasts
- Books
Find a relaxing spot to sit or lie down. If you prefer, close your eyes, dim the lights, or gaze out the window. If that’s too sedentary, do something repetitious like knitting, basketball dribbling, or dishwashing.
Allow your thoughts to roam, actually wander, and observe where they lead you. Don’t give up if it doesn’t take you too far at first. Your mind will adjust to this newfound freedom over time.
5. Make a date with yourself
Self-dates may sound corny, but they may be a useful tool for learning to be content on your own.
Don’t know what to do? Assume you’re attempting to impress a real date by showing them a nice time. What would you do with them? What would you like for them to see or do?
Take yourself out on that date now. It may seem strange at first, but chances are you’ll see at least a few other people dining alone or buying a single movie ticket.
You don’t have to go big if money is an issue. But keep in mind that paying for one is much less expensive than paying for two.
Is it still too intimidating? Start small by spending 10 minutes in a coffee shop. Be aware of your surroundings and take them in. Once you’ve gotten used to it, going out alone won’t feel so strange.
6. Start exercising
Exercise promotes the release of endorphins, which are chemicals in the brain that make you feel good.
Start with only a few minutes a day, even if it’s just morning stretches if you’re new to exercising. Every day, increase your activity by a minute or two. Try weight training, aerobics, or sports as your confidence grows.
Plus, if you’re still hesitant to venture out on your own, coming to the gym alone can be a good place to start.
7. Spend some time in nature
Another cliche, to be sure. However, seriously, go outside. Relax in your backyard, go for a walk in the park, or sit by the river. Nature’s sights, sounds, and smells should be absorbed. Feel the wind in your hair and on your face.
According to research, spending 30 minutes or more each week in nature can help with depression symptoms and lower blood pressure.
8. Take advantage of the benefits of being alone
Living alone might make it difficult for some people to be happy. Sure, it’s quiet, and no one is there to listen to your complaints after work or remind you to turn off the stove.
However, there are some advantages to living alone (naked vacuuming, anyone?). Make the most of the physical and emotional space that living alone provides:
- Take up the entire room. Spend the day taking over the kitchen to prepare a delicious feast that you can eat for the following week.
- Spread out. Trying to rekindle an old passion? Gather all of your supplies and lay them out on the floor to pick what you’ll use for your next project. Don’t think you’ll be able to make a decision in a single day? It’s no problem. Even if it’s a week from now, leave it out until you’re finished.
- Have a dance-off. This is a rather self-explanatory one. Put on your favourite music and turn it up loudly if your neighbours let it. Dance as if no one is looking, because they aren’t.
9. Volunteer
There are a plethora of opportunities to volunteer your time in the service of others. You can volunteer in person or from the comfort of your own home. Helping others can make you feel good in either case. It can also help you feel connected to people while still allowing you to spend time alone.
Look into volunteer opportunities in your area. Finding something that feels good to you is crucial. Make sure their requirements match what you’re willing and able to provide.
It’s totally normal to go on and try something else if the first thing you try doesn’t work out.
Whenever the opportunity arises, perform a random act of kindness.
10. Recognise the things for which you are grateful
Gratitude has been shown to increase sentiments of happiness and hopefulness, according to research.
As you go about your day, it’s easy to take things for granted. Take some time to think about what you’re grateful for.
It isn’t necessary for them to be amazing or mind-blowing. They can be as simple as your first cup of coffee in the morning or a song you listen to again and over because it relaxes you.
Make a mental or physical list of the things you admire in your life. When you’re alone and feeling depressed, pull out this list to remind yourself of all your positive attributes.
11. Allow yourself to relax
Self-reflection is beneficial. Self-judgment that is harsh is not. It sabotages your self-esteem and happiness. Turn to that more optimistic voice in your head (you know it’s there someplace) when that nasty inner critic comes calling.
Don’t be harsher on yourself than you would on others. Don’t beat yourself up over your blunders; everyone makes them. Keep in mind all of your positive characteristics.
12. Make a delicious meal for yourself
No one to share a meal with? When you dine alone, you don’t have to eat premade food in front of the television. Make a delectable one-person supper.
Set the table, use a cloth napkin, light a candle, and do whatever else you’d do for a dinner party. You’re worth it on your own.
13. Look for a creative outlet
What have you always wanted to do but have been putting off? Don’t be concerned if you’re not very good at it. The goal is to attempt something new and different, to push yourself out of your comfort zone.
Make a home renovation project a priority. Learn to play an instrument, create a landscape painting, or compose a short narrative. You can do it on your own or take a class. Give yourself plenty of time to decide if it’s worthwhile.
You can at least mark it off your list and move on to something else if you don’t like it.
14. Make arrangements for solitary excursions
Make a list of activities you want to do and put them in your calendar. Give yourself something to anticipate. After all, half the fun is in the anticipation. Seeing it on your calendar may also encourage you to follow through.
Stay in a bed and breakfast in a local town. Attend a festival or a farmers market in your area. Purchase a ticket to a concert or that incredible art exhibition that everyone is raving about. Make a plan for something you’re passionate about and see it through.
Tips to keep the ball going in the long run
15. Change things up in your daily routine
Even a good habit can become stale after a while, leaving you feeling unmotivated. Consider your daily activities and nearby surroundings. What’s still working for you, and what’s starting to seem a little stale?
Take a chance if you’re not sure. Refresh the environment. Rearrange your furniture or change the colour of a wall. Begin a garden, clean and organise your home, or seek out a new coffee shop. Check to see if there’s anything you can do to get yourself out of that rut.
16. Improve your coping abilities
There are stressors in life, and horrible things happen. It’s pointless to ignore this reality. But can you recall a moment when something horrible happened and you worked out how to handle it? That’s a skill worth honing in the future.
Consider how you dealt with it at the time and why it worked. Consider how you might be able to apply a similar attitude to current events. This is also a wonderful moment to compliment oneself. You’re probably a lot more capable and resilient than you think.
17. Care for your relationships
You may discover that you spend less time socialising as you get more comfortable being alone. There’s nothing wrong with that, but it’s still important to maintain intimate social ties.
Make plans to see a family member, a friend, or hang out with the team after work. Make contact with someone you haven’t spoken to in a long time and have a meaningful conversation with them.
18. Be willing to forgive
What role does forgiveness play in your happiness? As it turns out, quite a bit. Forgiveness has been shown to lessen stress, anxiety, and sadness, among other health advantages.
It’s more about making oneself feel better than it is about helping the other person feel better. Yes, writing a letter forgiving someone who has wronged you but not actually mailing it counts.
Forgiveness is a powerful tool for relieving stress. Don’t forget to forgive yourself while you’re at it.
19. Look after your health
The state of one’s mind can have an impact on one’s physical well-being, and vice versa. Taking care of your physical health can help you be happier in general. It’s also a good method to develop a positive relationship with yourself.
Make eating a well-balanced diet, exercising on a regular basis, and sleeping enough a part of your alone time. Make an appointment with your doctor for an annual physical and to discuss any pre-existing medical concerns.
20. Make future preparations
In terms of both personal and professional goals, where do you want to be in 5 or 10 years? What steps do you need to take to achieve your objectives? It’s a good idea to write this down to assist you in making these decisions.
Review this activity once a year to evaluate if you’re on track or if your goals need to be adjusted. Having future plans can make you feel more hopeful and optimistic today.
Don’t be frightened to seek assistance.
All the self-care, exercise, and gratitude lists in the world won’t always be enough to help you overcome feelings of depression or loneliness.
If you’re having trouble coping, talk to a therapist if:
- You’re too anxious and having trouble coping.
- You have anxiety symptoms.
- You’re showing signs of depression.
Even a good habit can become stale after a while, leaving you feeling unmotivated. Consider your daily activities and nearby surroundings. What’s still working for you, and what’s starting to seem a little stale?
Take a chance if you’re not sure. Refresh the environment. Rearrange your furniture or change the colour of a wall. Begin a garden, clean and organise your home, or seek out a new coffee shop. Check to see if there’s anything you can do to get yourself out of that rut.